10 Easy Steps For How to Draw Attention to Yourself in Thailand

These tips have come from my own (embarrassing) personal experience, and from watching other foreigner's personal experiences as they live in and visit Thailand. 

If you ever find yourself hopping a plane over here to our neck of the woods, you'll thank me, or not, for sharing these tips with you: 

10 Easy Steps For How to Draw Attention to Yourself in Thailand 

1. Be really, really loud. A lot. In public places. Especially when in a conversation with someone else.

2. Have white skin. Works every time. This is especially effective if paired with blond hair and blue eyes. Mercy on your soul if you have all three. You might have just become the most popular person in the room. Ever. 

3. Show a lot of skin. Sleeveless shirts and shorty-shorts are a must to accomplish this attention-getter. 

4. Have lots and lots of babies. Any number higher than two will shock others regularly and cause them to think you run a preschool in your own home. 

5. Forget to use a straw when drinking out of a bottle or can. Hey, didn't you ever read the article about the bacteria on the tops of those containers? Drink from a straw and live. (And you simultaneously avoid awkward dribbles of Fanta over your chin. It just makes sense.) 

6. Pick your teeth in public. Don't discretely cover you mouth, either. You lose points for that. 

7. Wear your shoes inside. 

8. Spit, loudly and with great distance. 

9. Hug your spouse/significant other in public. Better yet, a smack on the lips will really turn everyone's heads. 

And lastly... 

10. Whatever you do, don't smile. Keep those smiles to yourself. Everyone will be very sweet and concerned for your welfare. They will tell you to just forget ("mai ben rai") your troubles and cheer up. But, if you sincerely don't want the masses confused by your permanent frown, then cure your melancholy nature and just take a look around you. You are in one of the most beautiful countries in the world, and it's people's own smiles are too contagious to resist. I dare you, just try.

An Adventure We Never Planned: In Our Own Front Yard...Honey!

Mystery revealed...what in the world IS this stuff? 

If you follow me on Instagram (wait, you don't?  click here!), then you saw that I posted another version the above picture.  I didn't tell you what it was...until this post.

It was HONEYCOMB!

Wait a minute...that isn't exactly accurate...

It was roasted honeycomb...freshly cut from the tree in our front yard...with...

BEE LARVAE!

Seriously?  Let me describe it...it was surprisingly salty (though, my friend did sprinkle it with salt on both sides...but not that much).  It was chewy.  It was crunchy.  It was...sticking to my teeth.  Instead of the honeycomb stuck to my teeth, I was pretty sure it was larvae membranes sticking to my teeth.  How's that for earthy-granola-cuisine?  I feel so green right now.

How in the world did we get fresh honeycomb?  This guy...

Our courageous new friend, honeycomb in hand.

One of our friends invited her husband to come over a few days ago to help us out with yard work.  He pruned trees and picked weeds and such.  While watering the grass, he happened to look up and notice our large beehive up in one of the front trees (not in the one Run normally climbs, praise the Maker)!  He assured me that he could cut it down for me and get the honey. Who am I to argue?  So, I let him!  He grabbed the ladder, hiked up his shirt collar, and found some gloves and a motorcycle helmet for extra protection.  After soaking the bees with water from the hose (whaaaaa?), he said the bees' wings would be too wet to fly much and they wouldn't bother with him during the harvesting.  He was so right.  Not one sting.

Cutting the honeycomb to reveal the goodness inside...

 

How beautiful is that?  I can't believe that honey was just hanging in our front yard! 

Half of the comb was filled with this gorgeous honey!  How's that for organic, un-filtered, raw honey?  Over toast or a bagel...aaah...I am drooling.

Muscle-power to squeeze the honey out of the comb.

All he did to retrieve the honey was to squeeze the comb in his hands and catch it in a big bowl of ours.  The kids all ditched school to watch the whole process with me.  Seriously, who has time for addition facts when this is going on?!
 

Our new friend was so full of joy that the kids fell in love with him instantly...and...he gave them fresh honey, so I am sure that doesn't count against him, either!

 
The squeezing wasn't too meticulous of a job, so the honey comb, leftover bees and stick parts had to be filtered out...

Separating the honey.  I just happened to have a honey jar lying around, actually.  Though, maybe I should re-label it to "100% Pure Thai Honey."

When this was over, my friend (the wife) said that the honeycomb would be delicious if I roasted it.  Of course!  Why didn't I think of that?  I had fresh honeycomb before and loved it...roasted would be even better.  Boy, was I surprised of what was hiding inside this other part of the honeycomb...

The honeycomb before baking.  I saw a few larvae poking out, but had no idea that when it roasted (a truly heavenly smell, by the way)...that the comb would turn into this...(check it out below)...

It is like the larvae swelled up and were just popping out of the comb.  My friend was thrilled.  I was scared.  Honesty, people.

After just ten minutes of roasting, we had this honeycomb to share.  My friend tasted it, I had some, and the boys each tasted it as well.  They didn't like it, per se, but I am impressed with their desire to be adventurous eaters.  They challenge me, most of the time, to eat things that I would never dream of liking.  Asia is changing our views of what is "normal."  That is one of the huge benefits of being here...we realize that our worldview and opinions on most things are heavily influenced by the culture we're around.  It makes me wonder what kind of men (and woman) they will be.  I am excited!



After we roasted the comb, our new friend took the remaining comb he had squeezed honey from, reattached it to the original branch, rigged it back up into the tree, and didn't get bit.  Even once.  Astounding! 


Our friend's husband reattached the old comb back to the same main branch because he said that if the queen bee hadn't left yet, that the whole swarm would be attracted to the honey there and start another home.  I had no idea!  This time, instead of wishing the bees would just go away, I am sort of hoping they'll stay so we can recreate this adventure again and get more delicious, free honey. 

The hoard of bees waiting to reclaim their place.  I actually hope they stay!

That was the end of the adventure that we never planned...right in our own front yard!  I wonder what the next one will be like...

Water Fight - A Story In Pictures (repost)

:: Two years ago, I blogged about how we celebrated one of the biggest Thai holidays of the year, Songkran.  As we prepare for this year's water fight in the New City, I am reminded of this post.  If you wanna see my boys two years younger in this blast from the past...or never got to read it...here ya go!  This post was from April 15th, 2011 ::


Songkran (click for more info) happened a few days ago.  Well, really, in the bigger cities here in Thailand, they celebrate for three and sometimes five days straight!  In our teensy-weensy town, the water fight lasts one day - but, man, it is FUN!

Here's a look into the action (I took a drive right outside our little street and locked the doors to make sure nobody pelted me and my camera with a bucket of water!)...



Run and Huy, dressed in classic Songkran attire



They're ready!



The first shot.



Run snuck around to our neighbor's house to get a surprise shot...this poor, unsuspecting boy was dutifully washing his father's truck...when Run strikes!



After study-time, Daddy joins in...and they walk up the road to the main event!



In our town, the place when EVERYONE plays is 7-eleven, the land of Slurpees.



The sidewalks were full of people hanging out.



People get on their motorbikes and pile into pick-up trucks to drive down the road...squirting others, and getting drenched, themselves.



These kids had colored talcum powder that they smeared onto unsuspecting passers-by.  My doors were locked!  Haha!



The road was full for a few miles...



And then, I spotted them!  Treav and the boys were in the back of our friend's pick-up, having a BLAST (no pun intended)!



"Get Mommy's car!!!"



Later that afternoon, we headed to some friends' house in a nearby town to play some more!



Our friends had some Thais and foreigners over to eat MEXICAN food.  The kitchen was full!



...so was the eating room.



The boys and M, another foreigner, going to town with the water guns. 



They blessed the food...



...and BOY!  Did we have a feast, or what!?!



Fun, food, and friends; a great end to a great day!

Three's A Crowd, So What's Four?

If you follow us on Facebook or Instagram, then you've seen the above picture already.  If not, then, surprise!  We are, indeed, with child.  Child number FOUR to be exact.  We have already past the tipping point of an odd family size here in Thailand (most have one or two)...so why not add to the questions and stares by adding another little one to the mix?!  A generation ago, large Thai families were not uncommon.  But nowadays, with expensive school fees and high unemployment rates, people are a little less risky when it comes to upping their family size.  And, hey, let's face it: kids are a handful!  It is a fact!  :)  Lately, I have observed that most Thai kids give their parents a run for their money...figuratively and literally. 

But, children are also an enormous blessing.  Thus, our reasoning for welcoming this little sesame seed (the size of our babe right now) into our family.  God's grace is big enough for me to mother four kids, and I know there is enough love to go around (thank you for teaching me that, Michelle Duggar).  :)

Before we took a test yesterday to know for sure, I was experiencing almost every symptom in the book: fatigue, emotional breakdowns moments, nausea, aversions to smells and normal foods, and tons more things like that which you probably would rather I spare from listing out in greater detail.  You're welcome.

After finding out for sure, we had extreme joy in calling family and friends to break the news.  Even though we're at the beginning of this pregnancy, I have a feeling it is going to fly by fast with all that is already on our schedules for this year.  This must be a year for encountering God's amazing grace, because I am going to need it! 

So, for now, I am stocking up on ginger ale and crackers to ward away my constant companion, morning sickness.  BTW, morning sickness is the lamest bit of advertisement of a word, ever.  It isn't confined to the morning...OH no!  It likes to sometimes stick around all day.  Yuck. I just have to remember that I am getting another little person out of this whole thing. 

Baby, you're worth it!

Observations While Running: The Good, The Bad and The Smelly.

The rice fields at the edge of our neighborhood.  I smile every time I pass them...except for that one time when I was being chased by a dog!  True story...


Condemnation warning: I realize that I am writing this post involving exercise just a few days after Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving: i.e...the day we all ceremoniously stuff ourselves silly in the name of all-things-American.  The temptation might be to groan while you read this and look at your growing belly and wonder why you aren't out there walking/playing football/playing dodge ball/running marathons/fill-in-the-blank with something somewhat athletic.  Well, believe me, I would love to pull up a chair and sit with you while you down your third piece of leftover pecan pie (which, BTW...aren't Thanksgiving leftovers the best?  my son ate sweet potato casserole for breakfast this morning - he's so hardcore).  Anyway...I am certainly not in this whole running phase to serve out condemnation or comparison to anyone who reads about my journey.  So, pass the condemnation and bring on the pie, people!  Oh, and...keep reading.

As I run around the neighborhood throughout the week, I am beginning to notice several things that I didn't before.  I am convinced that my senses are being awakened as my body threatens to give out on me as I run.  I think my sense of sight and smell are just trying to hijack my sense of "I'm so tired I could take a nap right here on the asphalt."  Anyway...here are a few things I have observe as of late.  I love my neighborhood:

The Good:
* The morning sun peeking through the clouds is simply gorgeous.  I am glad, though, that it has been hiding, because the Thai sun can be quite unforgiving and horribly hot. 
*  I have seen more types of flowers and landscaping ideas as I make my rounds.  I am inspired to make my home and yard more visually inviting to people come pass by or stop for a visit.  Now, if I just had time to do it all...
*  The aroma of all those flowers literally gives me an extra boost of energy.  Magnolia and jasmine blooms are my faves.
*  There is the cutest little 2-year old girl that takes a walk with Grandma every morning.  Thai caregivers sometimes follow their little ones around with a bowl of food because the kid just doesn't want to sit that long for a meal.  Bite.  Run.  Bite.  Play.  Bite.  You get the idea.  I love to always turn the corner and see her trying to evade her Grandma's attempt at feeding her breakfast.  It makes me giggle.
*  Passing the rice fields still makes me feel like I am in another world. 
*  At the very back of our neighborhood, a man always has his roosters out in the street in these portable cages as he cleans out their coop.  This, at first, seemed so funny and foreign to me...but then I remembered the suburban roosters of downtown Waco (where we used to live) and then I remember the ghetto.  Funny how that connection works.  Roosters = ghetto.  You get it, right? 

The Bad:
*  I have been chased by dogs and scared silly numerous times by ones that sneak up on my behind their fence and let out a huge howl or bark.  I am sure my neighbors have laughed at my antics after being startled.  I am pretty easy prey.
*  A few weeks ago, as I was approaching a tree that normally has these huge, long seed pods scattered over the ground, I almost ran over a snake.  As in, with my feet, not my car wheels.  I felt like an expert hurdler as I screamed bloody murder and leaped over the approaching snake that I had thought was just a seed pod in the road.  Last I checked, seed pods don't wriggle on the ground and bite.  Yikes.  I wish I had that on video.   Maybe not.

The Smelly:
*  I know where all the smelly dogs live.  Their poop smell is evident.  If I don't hold my breath in time to miss the smell, at least I have motivation to run past those houses as fast as I can.  Yuk.
*  Since many Thais don't eat the traditionally-sweet food that Americans eat in the mornings, they eat just about the same thing in the mornings that they would all day.  I smell curry, other spicy dishes, meat and rice steaming while on my runs.  Yum.  But, I would take a cinnamon roll over curry any day.  Thus, one of my reasons for exercising!
*  Thai housekeepers, moms and grandmas wake up earrrrly to hand wash or machine wash their clothes in order to hang-dry them in the midday sun.  I can run by and smell who's been diligent to wash clothes that day and who hasn't...my house would be included in the "hasn't" category.  I'm simply not thinking of laundry yet at 7 o'clock in the morning!

Wild Week Day Two: "Eating Out" In Thailand

A row of roasted duck and chunks of pork and chicken ready to be served!

Welcome to Wild Week Day Two:  "Eating out!"  If you missed reading Day One about my trip to the market to survey some wildly-awesome and wildly-odd things, click here to read that post!

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, don't expect this to be an exhaustive list of everything awesome or different you can find in a regular Thai restaurant.  I just grabbed by camera and snapped some shots when we went out to eat a few nights ago after meeting with our church.  But, this should give you a quick peek into the every-day of restaurant goers here in our country.  You could, basically, split the options in two vague groups of rice or noodles.  Yes, there are soups and vegetable sides...but everything is either served with sticky rice, yellow rice, Jasmine rice, etc...or rice noodles, egg noodles, etc.  You get the idea!  But, what about meat?  Well, here, why chop off the head or skin when you save time and cook it all together!?  

Roasted Duck (head)...they almost look sad!

A very basic dish - chicken (skin on) over rice.  A spicy sauce and curled blood cake (left) is on the side.  

Here's what Treavor had for dinner.  It is basically the same thing as above, but with fried chicken instead (and, a chicken broth soup up top).  No animal heads to be found here!  Too bad we didn't get the duck.  Or...maybe I'm OK with that!

Fermented, salty fish head.  Not the most appetizing thing to put over my rice...but I hear it is a common dish!

If heads aren't your thing...or you just want some curry or vegetables...there is almost always a set-up like this on every block in town:

Platters of prepared foods to go over rice are displayed in the front of this restaurant.  You can either order it to go or choose it to be poured over a plate of rice for just a dollar.

Eggs are a staple here just like everywhere else in the world.  These scrambled Thai omelette's look awesome!

This is another really common soup dish.  You choose the kind of meat (raw) or meat balls (everything from fish to beef to pork to mystery meat!)...then the cook dips it into a boiling broth with a mesh ladle...adds noodles and veggies...and you have a delicious, quick, made-to-order soup.

Then, you add any of the above (peanuts, dried chili's, sugar, fish sauce with peppers, you name it!) and the taste is how you want it. 

I ordered something similar...egg noodles with veggies, broth, sliced red pork and won tons.  It was on my table in less than a minute!  

This is on just about every table in Thailand and in just about every dish there is.  There is no escaping the fish sauce!

If you are thirsty, the wildest thing about drinks in Thailand is that they are so so cheap.  There aren't shrimp shakes or anything crazy like that...but there is Thai iced tea, coffee, thick and creamy...and if you can put it in the blender...just about any fruit shake you like.

Everything you see listed is unbelievably cheap - 10 baht is 33 cents, 15 baht is 50 cents and 30 baht is a dollar.   A fifty cent iced coffee with dinner? Don't mind if I do!

Variety is the spice of life!

Thai drinks would be lacking without this surprising ingredient...sweetened condensed milk!  It is a staple for iced tea, coffees and even some fruit drinks are enhanced with it.  I bet you'll never look at Carnation the same if you sample drinks made with this.

Need a quick bite because you can't sit at a restaurant?  Meat on a stick!  This is one of the thousands of street carts that make and sell food right on the sidewalk or the side of the street.  No health codes here!  :)

...or, seafood meat on a stick!

Yep...that is a raw squid that you see!  It is only 66 cents...but I think I'll pass...

The seafood grill...right on the side of this portable street cart/mini-restaurant.

I have to end this post with dessert (getting picture-heavy already...right?  your Internet browser probably hates me right now!).  Here is one popular option that I passed on the way home:

Rotee, or roti, is most every foreigner's friend and enemy.  Friend?  Because it is awesome!  Enemy?  Because your waistline will soon expand with your addiction.  Moderation is recommended.

First, the cook pulls out a lump of dough (like crepe dough) and she spreads it thin on her metal prep area.

Then, she flips it around like a roti artist.  I have tried this technique once...it is hard to pick up!

Next, she puts the dough on a heated, oiled surface, tops it with my desired filling (I chose egg and banana)...

...and as it cooks, folds it into a neat little pocket of goodness.

It cooks for a minute or two and browns the outside.  So hungry!

She chops it up like a super-roti ninja...

Last, she tops it with an obscene amount of sweetened condensed milk (see?  i told you!  secret ingredient!)...

...and she adds chocolate sauce because I asked "pretty please."  All of that for $1.20!  That was more than I paid for noodles that night.  It was worth it.

I haven't even mentioned other Thai restaurant (and home-cooked) staples...Coconut Chicken Soup, Pad Thai, Chicken with Thai Basil, and the obvious, Fried Rice!  Click on those dish names for links to recipes/pictures of those or go here for a page of several different famous dishes.  

The kids are hungry for dinner and I think I have given you enough already to make you call your nearest Thai take-out - so, thanks for reading and experiencing more of the wild territory of Thai living (or, should I say, eating?).

See you tomorrow for Day Three of Wild Week!

After reading the last two posts, what is the most appetizing or unappetizing thing you've seen so far?  Share in the comments below: