|Out to birthday lunch today with my favorite people in the world.|
There's nothing like time. It is so pregnant with potential and then, so trivial and fleeting all in the same moment. One minute we realize that we can change someone's life with one action, one sentence, one non-verbal gesture, or one mistake. In the next, we realize that although we can put a lot of thought and energy into the details of our lives, that they are very easily forgotten or overlooked by the frenzy of the rest of the busy world that is always moving around us. It is tempting to get caught up in an Ecclesiastes-everything-is-meaningless fit, but I won't.
Because, today is my birthday. And today, I actually couldn't be happier that all those little moments, big or small, have totaled up to make me a ripe 31. Last year, I was literally shaking and nervous and dreading the big 3-0. That day felt like such a shift in my mind and in my emotions; a realization that although I am super special and important to some people, I am still going to live and die like so many millions before me. I have chosen to live for something bigger than myself.
Bigger than myself.
I suppose for a Western-thinking person, this is a big mental hump to get over. I don't mean to stereotype a lot of people...but...well...I guess I still am! In my limited experience, I grew up believing in the power of one individual. One life. One incredibly influential person. And in my Western-thinking, I was always trying to be convinced that the One person to be focusing on in order to better the world was going to have to be Me.
Don't get me wrong. I definitely don't feel anywhere NEAR qualified to be the girl that has all the goods, all the smarts, all the right words and moves and relationships. What I am trying to express is just the matter of the center of my focus...the One person that was truly going to make an impact on a world that is just a little (a lot!) messed up.
I have resigned myself to finally give someone else the glory. I am giving it to Him. I am giving it to Jesus.
It was His before, really, and always has been. But, like a selfish toddler who yanks somebody else's toy away screaming, "Miiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnne!"...I have to eventually forfeit what is rightfully belonging to someone else. The glory is His. My life is His. My heart is His. Any accolade I ever earn, any praise, any thanks, any gratitude, anything at all...is His again.
It is for His glory that I turn 31. It is for His glory that I raise my four crazies and attempt to serve my amazing husband. It is for His glory that I still have friends. The breath in my lungs. The food on my table.
Thank you, Lord, for these 31 years. I am ready to glorify You with them today!