Why 30 Doesn't Make Me Feel Like a Scaredy Cat Anymore

The great-looking crew at my 90s-themed birthday party.  An awesome way to celebrate 30; with friends! photo by Katie Friesen

(This is a continuation of the last post I published.  You can read about why I was scared of 30 here for more context.)

My friend, Wendy, sent me a message the day after my 30th birthday...when I was still feeling like my heart started racing and I wanted to curl up in the fetal position anytime anyone mentioned my new age.  Her email helped me to cut the drama and start thinking of the things I could be looking forward to in my thirties rather than looking backwards at how removed I was from my supposed "youth."

I reprinted, with her permission, most of her letter here (her letter in green...my responses in black) and I hope that it encourages you as well, no matter what stage of life you are in.  (And, if you happen to be in your twenties or younger, maybe you can remind me of all of this the next time you simultaneously make fun of my decade-change.  Hint, hint.)

She greeted me in her letter and started listing out some things I could rejoice in.  Way to go, Wendy!:

"For one, you are no longer considered inexperienced and too juvenile to know anything, like most people in their twenties are considered to be. (It doesn't matter how smart you are in your 20's, you just don't have the experience!)"

...finally, maybe my family and others will stop second-guessing me when I make major decisions?  That would be awesome.  At first reading, I was a little surprised at the way she referenced people in their 20s, but then I remembered all the times when I got a funny look or a "Are you suuuure about that?" from well-meaning people.  So, I guess Aalijah was wrong when she sang "Age Ain't Nothing But a Number" (how 90s is that?! I am still thinking of the 90s ever since my rockin' party. It is a problem I have of late.)

"I think another wonderful thing about the 30's is that you begin to care less about what people think of you and you can start to relax and have more fun. This seems to increase every year until you die, hahaha, but it really is a fun part of growing older!!" 

...well, maybe there is hope for me yet.  I have a compulsion to over-analyze what others think about what I am doing and if they are pleased with me or not...so maybe growing older every year with help me kick the habit?  I really hope so.  If not, I might grow an ulcer sometime soon.  Then I'll really feel old.  Whomp whomp whomp.

"Another great thing is that people begin to take you a little more seriously and listen to what you have to say. (That experience thing)"

...this is one of the most exciting things to process.  Right now, we're in a position with work and family life where we are interacting with so many people who are either young in age or young in their faith.  I want to share things that I have learned through trial and error and through mistakes of my own, and having a little favor in the area of authority might help the wisdom I share not go through someone's ear and out their other.  Seeing people succeed gets me excited! 

"You are a very beautiful woman and don't feel you have lost any beauty from one year to another, you have many years to go of being absolutely lovely, do NOT listen to the lie that you are somehow losing it or whatever. You can start feeling that way in another couple of decades, but not this one! The 30's are a time when the baby fat falls off our faces and many women look their best, there are many actresses that are absolutely stunning in their 30's, don't you think?"

...aw-shucks, Wendy.  You just made my whole year!  Being pregnant for the fourth time can kind of do a number on one's self-esteem.  Thanks for lifting it up!

"Another reason to be joyful for the 30's is your family, the joy of watching your children mature and grow up, children who adore you & a husband who loves you so much, these are precious gifts."

...for some reason, I have been forgetting the reality that in order for my kids to grow up and for my marriage to continue to mature, that I have to "grow up" and mature as well.  The two go hand in hand.  For the things she mentioned above (children maturing and bringing joy, a husband who continues to walk in great love), there is definitely the factor of hard work that has to be figured in. But, thankfully, in the midst of our busy lives, whining, squabbles and "training opportunities"...I can remember that the fruit is starting to pop up, and that more and more will come if we all persevere in God's ways.

 "I know you know these things already but it is always good to be reminded again, because when we feel sad it is hard to remember!

Finally, as you know time goes faster as we grow older, and if you can imagine it, your older self is laughing at you for feeling old already! You will never again be this young, so enjoy it!!

Much love to you, Alina,

Wendy"

...yes, I need to consider my season of life as not how "old" I feel, but how young I am in light of my life ahead.  There is so much that I don't know yet, and so much that I have yet to experience, enjoy and learn from.  Thanks for that reminder, friend!

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." 

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV

Why I Was Afraid of 30

 

 

Last Saturday, I turned 30.

30.

3 - 0.

I feel like an alien, if that is melodramatic enough.

I guess it is because for a decade (a decade!) I have identified with being in my 20's.  Being in my 20's felt like a safe place to be.  What is safe about a number, anyway?  I know it is all in my head...but...here's why I was afraid of "30"...

30 sounded "old." This isn't the first thought anyone turning 30 has ever had in the history of man...but when I encounter anyone younger than me who is inquiring of my age...I can imagine the response: "Oh! So, you're old, then."  No.  I am just...aged...like, a good cheese or wine. What?

30 feels like the point of no return.  Across the last 10-year span of my life, which started with being mid-way through college, I have lived in a few different countries, conceived four kids (four!), and done a myriad of other "big" things.  But, for some reason, the decade that started with college football games, reckless credit card spending and guy crushes (do I sound "young enough"?)...continued on to where I was technically aged until just one week ago.  29 still didn't sound so removed from 20.  But, when the anniversary of my birth day dawned...it felt like I could no longer imagine that I was the same girl who went to frat parties and could still fit into a size 2 pair of jeans.  Yikes.

30 just plain snuck up on me.  And now, I can't avoid it.  I loved shocking people here in Thailand with the fact that I was a mommy of four and not yet into my thirties (whereas Thais, like Americans, are getting married and having kids later in life, lately).  I loved answering that I wasn't yet 30.  The faces I got were priceless.  Now, when I say that I am thirty, it is as if their faces say to me: "Oh yeah, that fits." 

Don't worry, I am not still wallowing in a pit of despair with puffy eyes, having a third-of-the-way-through-life-crisis.  It wasn't really until the end of April that I even realized that these thoughts were wafting through my brain.  And, when Saturday came and went, I still didn't even know how to feel. 

But then, I got a truly fabulous email from a friend, W, about all the ways she wanted to encourage me into my thirties rather than to let me stay in a state of nervousness and insecurity.  In my next post...I will share some of the things she had to say. 

How about you?  In the season of life that you are in, what are some of the things you are loving, or hating, about it?  I would love to hear.  Share in the comments below:

Blessings,
Alina

Remembering Uncle David

Uncle David, Treavor, Jeshurun and Huy on the family farm last summer in Illinois

Last week, we got the sad news that a beloved uncle of Treavor's had passed away.  It was so out of the blue, that it still seems a bit unreal.  During our trip to the States last summer, we got to spend a handful of days with Uncle David and his beautiful wife, Lorrie.  We were so thankful for that time, then, and even more thankful for that time, now, as we reflect upon his life. 

Uncle David seemed to always have a smile on his face.  His lightheartedness and humor was refreshing to be around.  He loved sarcasm and telling stories, so our boys loved talking to him anytime they saw him.  They still re-tell stories that Uncle David told us around the farm's dining table last summer.  As soon as they got up, they would race to get on their clothes so they could help him with the chores to do around the farm.  Uncle David was always obliging to let them tag along and get in his way.  He was so thoughtful to invite them to do whatever he was doing; no matter how big, or how dirty, the task.

Uncle David with Huy gathering chicken eggs (they did this every day we were there - their highlight!) Sorry for the blur...

Uncle David loved living life and taking care of the animals on the farm.  Though sometimes donning a tougher exterior, he definitely had a soft side.  For instance, he and his wife, Lorrie, couldn't bear to kill their chickens and roosters to have a chicken dinner.  Instead, some of them had names and even ate with the family cats.  :)  We loved to witness his "softy" side. 

Uncle David talking with one of his fave roosters

 

The chickens helping themselves to the cat's food! 

During our stay, some cousins came over for a day and Uncle David took them on a "tractor ride" around the property.  They loved it!  He was always thinking of fun things to do with them, and didn't mind a little speed.  :)

Uncle David ready for a ride.

The boys, their cousins, piled in and soaking up the Illinois sunshine.  Let's go!

After spending a few days with Uncle David and Aunt Lorrie, we all couldn't wait to see them again.  Since our visit, the kids have talked numerous times about the farm and helping out Uncle Dave with the chores.

Lorrie and David...in this absolutely beautiful photo from fourlads photography

Now, as we deal with the reality that we'll never see him again on this side of Heaven, it is a little difficult to look at pictures of our visit.  As a couple, Treavor and I have hugged people and said our goodbyes, not realizing that those times would be the last time to embrace our loved ones.  Four years ago, we said our final goodbyes to two grandparents as we left for our move to Thailand.  Within a few years, they had passed into Heaven, and we felt so sad to not be there for our grieving family. 

And now, since travelling to and from the States again, we have suffered the pain of discovering the news that, now, one more beloved grandparent and two uncles have passed while living overseas.  I think we are finding that physical distance doesn't quite make things "easier" to cope with loss.  Instead, the "every day" of here is more effective on keeping our minds off of grief...until we let ourselves (and force ourselves, sometimes) to really process our sadness.

If you would, please take a moment to pray for Treavor's grieving family and for Uncle David's friends who are missing him terribly.  Pray for us, that we would grieve well and take time to let the emotions rise to bring resolution and healing.

And, for yourself, really hug and bless your family...your friends...the people you encounter in your daily life.  None of us know when our last day will come.  Let's live without regrets and love well today!

Blessings,
Alina

 

An Adventure We Never Planned: In Our Own Front Yard...Honey!

Mystery revealed...what in the world IS this stuff? 

If you follow me on Instagram (wait, you don't?  click here!), then you saw that I posted another version the above picture.  I didn't tell you what it was...until this post.

It was HONEYCOMB!

Wait a minute...that isn't exactly accurate...

It was roasted honeycomb...freshly cut from the tree in our front yard...with...

BEE LARVAE!

Seriously?  Let me describe it...it was surprisingly salty (though, my friend did sprinkle it with salt on both sides...but not that much).  It was chewy.  It was crunchy.  It was...sticking to my teeth.  Instead of the honeycomb stuck to my teeth, I was pretty sure it was larvae membranes sticking to my teeth.  How's that for earthy-granola-cuisine?  I feel so green right now.

How in the world did we get fresh honeycomb?  This guy...

Our courageous new friend, honeycomb in hand.

One of our friends invited her husband to come over a few days ago to help us out with yard work.  He pruned trees and picked weeds and such.  While watering the grass, he happened to look up and notice our large beehive up in one of the front trees (not in the one Run normally climbs, praise the Maker)!  He assured me that he could cut it down for me and get the honey. Who am I to argue?  So, I let him!  He grabbed the ladder, hiked up his shirt collar, and found some gloves and a motorcycle helmet for extra protection.  After soaking the bees with water from the hose (whaaaaa?), he said the bees' wings would be too wet to fly much and they wouldn't bother with him during the harvesting.  He was so right.  Not one sting.

Cutting the honeycomb to reveal the goodness inside...

 

How beautiful is that?  I can't believe that honey was just hanging in our front yard! 

Half of the comb was filled with this gorgeous honey!  How's that for organic, un-filtered, raw honey?  Over toast or a bagel...aaah...I am drooling.

Muscle-power to squeeze the honey out of the comb.

All he did to retrieve the honey was to squeeze the comb in his hands and catch it in a big bowl of ours.  The kids all ditched school to watch the whole process with me.  Seriously, who has time for addition facts when this is going on?!
 

Our new friend was so full of joy that the kids fell in love with him instantly...and...he gave them fresh honey, so I am sure that doesn't count against him, either!

 
The squeezing wasn't too meticulous of a job, so the honey comb, leftover bees and stick parts had to be filtered out...

Separating the honey.  I just happened to have a honey jar lying around, actually.  Though, maybe I should re-label it to "100% Pure Thai Honey."

When this was over, my friend (the wife) said that the honeycomb would be delicious if I roasted it.  Of course!  Why didn't I think of that?  I had fresh honeycomb before and loved it...roasted would be even better.  Boy, was I surprised of what was hiding inside this other part of the honeycomb...

The honeycomb before baking.  I saw a few larvae poking out, but had no idea that when it roasted (a truly heavenly smell, by the way)...that the comb would turn into this...(check it out below)...

It is like the larvae swelled up and were just popping out of the comb.  My friend was thrilled.  I was scared.  Honesty, people.

After just ten minutes of roasting, we had this honeycomb to share.  My friend tasted it, I had some, and the boys each tasted it as well.  They didn't like it, per se, but I am impressed with their desire to be adventurous eaters.  They challenge me, most of the time, to eat things that I would never dream of liking.  Asia is changing our views of what is "normal."  That is one of the huge benefits of being here...we realize that our worldview and opinions on most things are heavily influenced by the culture we're around.  It makes me wonder what kind of men (and woman) they will be.  I am excited!



After we roasted the comb, our new friend took the remaining comb he had squeezed honey from, reattached it to the original branch, rigged it back up into the tree, and didn't get bit.  Even once.  Astounding! 


Our friend's husband reattached the old comb back to the same main branch because he said that if the queen bee hadn't left yet, that the whole swarm would be attracted to the honey there and start another home.  I had no idea!  This time, instead of wishing the bees would just go away, I am sort of hoping they'll stay so we can recreate this adventure again and get more delicious, free honey. 

The hoard of bees waiting to reclaim their place.  I actually hope they stay!

That was the end of the adventure that we never planned...right in our own front yard!  I wonder what the next one will be like...

Water Fight - A Story In Pictures (repost)

:: Two years ago, I blogged about how we celebrated one of the biggest Thai holidays of the year, Songkran.  As we prepare for this year's water fight in the New City, I am reminded of this post.  If you wanna see my boys two years younger in this blast from the past...or never got to read it...here ya go!  This post was from April 15th, 2011 ::


Songkran (click for more info) happened a few days ago.  Well, really, in the bigger cities here in Thailand, they celebrate for three and sometimes five days straight!  In our teensy-weensy town, the water fight lasts one day - but, man, it is FUN!

Here's a look into the action (I took a drive right outside our little street and locked the doors to make sure nobody pelted me and my camera with a bucket of water!)...



Run and Huy, dressed in classic Songkran attire



They're ready!



The first shot.



Run snuck around to our neighbor's house to get a surprise shot...this poor, unsuspecting boy was dutifully washing his father's truck...when Run strikes!



After study-time, Daddy joins in...and they walk up the road to the main event!



In our town, the place when EVERYONE plays is 7-eleven, the land of Slurpees.



The sidewalks were full of people hanging out.



People get on their motorbikes and pile into pick-up trucks to drive down the road...squirting others, and getting drenched, themselves.



These kids had colored talcum powder that they smeared onto unsuspecting passers-by.  My doors were locked!  Haha!



The road was full for a few miles...



And then, I spotted them!  Treav and the boys were in the back of our friend's pick-up, having a BLAST (no pun intended)!



"Get Mommy's car!!!"



Later that afternoon, we headed to some friends' house in a nearby town to play some more!



Our friends had some Thais and foreigners over to eat MEXICAN food.  The kitchen was full!



...so was the eating room.



The boys and M, another foreigner, going to town with the water guns. 



They blessed the food...



...and BOY!  Did we have a feast, or what!?!



Fun, food, and friends; a great end to a great day!

Finding a Lost Treasure by Hearing His Voice (Part Two)

Found.

(This post is part two of a story.  Part one can be read here.)

...One day, several weeks ago, while ruthlessly attacking the mountain of dishes in my sink, I was listening to a sermon. I frequently do this to pass the time.  I had downloaded Bethel's free sermon of the week and was listening to the beginning.  They sometimes have a short testimony time at the beginning of some of the teachings, and this testimony time was about to rock my world.  I just didn't know it yet.

Bill Johnson was sharing about some amazing miracles that were happening in their midst and to some people whom they knew from other fellowships.  People were praying for God to bring back lost treasures, and He was doing it! 

One of the testimonies was of a person who lost their wedding ring in the sea.  They were praying for it to come back to them somehow, when they looked up from their prayer time and saw it lying on a pillow on their bed. 

I started weeping while hearing testimony after testimony of lost treasures being found.  I held up my soapy hands and pleaded with God to somehow bring my necklace back to me.  It isn't worth a ton of money, or is the most beautiful necklace in the world, but it is precious to me.  My Father cares about the things that mean a lot to me; that mean a lot to all of us.

The God of the Bible is the God of the now. He has done miracles then in the stories that we read, and He has no trouble doing them now; multiplying food, healing from chronic illness and even raising people from the dead is happening in the here and now. We just need faith, partnered with God's power, before we see it happen.

I finished my prayer, returned my soapy hands to the sink and my heart was filled with faith.  Even if I never received my necklace back, I was reminded again of a big God who is more mysterious, powerful and more wonderful than I really know.

Jump ahead in my story to a few weeks after that...

The purse I had been toting around for about a year looked like it had seen too many days, and if I carried it any further, it would surely have fallen right off my shoulders and dragged itself to a trash can. 

So, I decided to buy another one before we went on a trip to see some old friends (thus eliminating my chances of looking somewhat like a hobo...nothing against hobos...I digress...)  I went to the store that equals the Thai version of a Super Walmart and bought myself a 6-dollar purse that will hopefully last for a little while.  Thus, I had to dig through the abyss of my old, dying purse to fill my new, perkier one with all of those things that women have to carry around.

While sifting through Hot Wheel cars, gum wrappers, age-old receipts and lonely crayons that had taken up residence in my purse, I began to finally see the bottom of it.  I began thinking about what I would do with it once I was done.  I pictured myself throwing it in the trash and finally being rid of my sorry-looking bag. 

But, before I did, a Voice stopped me, suddenly. 

He said, "Before you throw it away, make sure to look under the lining of your purse.  There might be something precious there that you would regret to overlook."

Within seconds of hearing His sweet Voice, I had a picture in my mind of my necklace hidden below the cloth lining of my purse, just waiting to be found.

Without hesitation, I poured over the dark lining of my purse and happened upon a very small tear in the cloth.  I had never noticed it before.  This wasn't my first time to empty out my bag to find lost car keys or that USB drive that always seems to find it's way to the bottom.  I had poured over this bag before.  But, I had never seen that tear.

Instantly, I ripped open the tear and feasted my eyes upon a beautiful sight: my pearl necklace, with it's silver flashing in the light like it was laughing at me with joy.

I rushed downstairs with tears in my eyes and recounted my testimony to Treavor and a curious Jeshurun who was resting on the couch nearby.  Jeshurun thought I was weeping with sadness, but I assured him that it was with joy that I was so overcome.
 
"He is so good!  He is so sweet to me!  He is so merciful! Can you believe it?" I shouted, through watery eyes.

The Holy Spirit didn't use an audible voice with me that day, though it isn't unheard of.  But, because I am His sheep, I can hear His voice when He speaks to my heart.  I might as well "baaaaa" for you because I felt more like one of His sheep that day than I had felt in a long time:

“Very truly I tell you Pharisees, anyone who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” Jesus used this figure of speech, but the Pharisees did not understand what he was telling them.

Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.

 

“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.

John 10:1-15

This week, right after Easter, think upon the good Shepherd, who laid His life down for His sheep.  Is He calling to you right now to become a sheep like me?  Or, is He calling you to return to following His voice again?  More than that, is there something that you are needing more faith for, and want to hear the Shepherd's Voice building you up again?

Get quiet and listen, and be ready to see Him work some miracles in your heart and in your life. 

Blessings,
Alina

Part Two Postponed a Day: Here's My White Flag, Headache!

Hello!  My name is Alina, and I have a splitting headache.

I had planned to finish writing Part Two of "Finding a Lost Treasure by Hearing His Voice," and post it tonight...but...this headache is causing me to not think very clearly and just want to crawl up into bed for the night.  Call me a wimp, or blame it on the baby...your choice.  ;)

So, for any of you (Bueller? Bueller?) who were waiting for the climax ending...I am sorry.

And for everyone else who is just getting to reading this next week...just click to the next post and forget I ever told you about my momentary loss of mental energy.

Good night.  That is all.  See you all tomorrow (and, really, this time the last post will be there!)

And, pray for my headache, will ya?

Thanks a million,
Alina